Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Am I the Pot Calling the Kettle Black?

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It was brought to my attention the other day that I'm a bit of a hypocrite.  As you can imagine, my mouth dropped to the floor in disbelief that someone would have the audacity to suggest something so absurd to me.  I mean it wasn't quite that dramatic, but I was a little taken aback at the suggestion. But then I had to take a step back and ask myself if there was any possibility that her accusation could be true. (I'd say hypocrisy can be described as an accusation in this context.)

This blogging thing can get you into trouble.  I've had people say to me, straight up, "Who were you talking about in your blog?" Me being me, I had to say who it was because one, I'm not a liar and two, if you ask then you must be strong enough to deal with the answer.  That said, by no means do I intentionally put anyone on blast and I never, ever use names.  If someone takes anything I write personal, most likely I'm talking about them and they can't handle my perspective, or they're too sensitive and projecting their feelings onto me and my creative outlet.

The person who accused me of hypocrisy was neither of these.  She was just a loved one calling me out onto the carpet for what she perceived as an issue.

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One Can Only Hope to Feel Fire and Desire - An Homage To Teena Marie

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 Fire and Desire Lyrics


Remember when I used to
Love them and leave them
That's what I used to do
Use and abuse them
Then I laid eyes on you

It was pain before pleasure
That was my claim to fame
I was cold as ice...
I wasn't very, very, very nice
Then I kissed your lips...

And you turned on my fire, baby
And you burn me up within your flame
Took me a little higher
Made me live again

You turned on my fire, baby
Then you showed me what a love could do
Fire and desire, baby


Some may say that this is a typical song in which to pay homage to Ms. Teena Marie. I won't argue with that.  I cannot say that I'm familiar with Ms. Marie's entire song catalog.  In passing, I may be able to recognize a tune or 2, but I may or may not be able to identify the song.  What I would undeniably be able to recognize would be her voice.  I would also be reminded of what that voice did to me the first time I heard it.

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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Letters to My Unborn Child - The Spirit of Christmas

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Hi Baby,

Merry Christmas.  I pray that Mommy was able to give you everything your little heart desired.  You deserve it. Mommy just wanted to take a little time to tell you what the spirit of Christmas is really about. 

You know when we pray every night to God?  Well Christmas represents the day God's son, Jesus, was born.  It's his birthday baby! Everybody loves birthdays, right ? Well this is what Mommy would call a BIIIIIIG IMPORTANT Birthday.

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

"They Say Love and Insanity are Somewhat Related" Agree??

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Crazy Love lyrics

They say love and insanity
Are somewhat related
The way that they make us act
But baby girl the love between you and me
Is truly the greatest
Though sometimes we hate it
They can't tell me nothing about you
Cuz you're my
Crazy love
Can't tell me nothing about how we do
Cuz we got
Crazy love

Been listening to Neyo's "Crazy Love" on repeat for the past few days, and if you know me by now, you know it got me to thinking...

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Monday, December 20, 2010

What's Good for the Gander Aint Good for the Goose...

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I've always wondered why the saying goes "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." 

For those of us who don't know, a gander is defined as a male goose.  Now that we know that, shouldn't it be more like "What's good for the gander is good for the goose"? 

Last time I checked, it was women who fought for equality and the right to be treated the same as men. In terms of treatment in the work place, as far as voting is concerned, and in society period.

Seeing as how the actual feminist movement ended in the 1920's, it baffles me that women haven't come farther than we should have.  Not only in terms of the workplace where men earn substantially more than women but in our relationships.  I notice that women often value our relationships with men more than we do our relationships with one another.

Don't agree?

Read more to find out how I've drawn this conclusion....

Thursday, December 16, 2010

What I Do

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See what I do is reflect
Searching for flaws I have yet to detect
Buffin' and sandin', I'm gon make it shine
Workin' hard on it too, cuz I aint got time

Time to waste just being, when better is around the corner
Where they do that at?
Stable? Hmm? Not quite good enough.
Fulfilled? Yes. More like it.
I'm striving to be the latter, not the former

What I do is ignore the naysayers
I aint got time to be acknowledgin' hatas
Hatas?
More wasted time
And this time breath too
And I aint got neither to waste
I keeps it movin', and I moves with haste

What I do is worry about me
If it's one thing I control, it's who I'm gon be
What you should do is worry 'bout you
That's the best thing you could ever do
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Go After What You Want; Just Don't Be Thirsty

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This morning I was on Twitter and I saw something I found pretty interesting.  Simple but interesting.

First let me say, on twitter, I "follow" all types of people.  From Dr.Cornel West and Barack Obama, to comedian Lil Duval and socialite Kim Kardashian.  Mainly I use twitter for venting, snarky comments, networking, and to get a good laugh.  Pretty much, for me, it has numerous functions.  That said, I follow Tameka Raymond and Marc Lamont Hill.

A little backstory on both:

Tameka Raymond is a celebrity fashion stylist, Atlanta socialite, and most notably singer Usher's ex wife and the mother of his 2 children.  She also has a foundation for young women called "Lost Ones".

Dr. Marc Lamont Hill is a Professor of Education and Anthropology/African American Studies at Teachers College, Columbia University. He also hosts the nationally syndicated television show Our World with Black Enterprise and is a contributor to FOX News (and a great representative for the under-represented).

I'll admit, when I first saw the brother's credentials I was like "DAYUUUUUUUM" (in the voice Smokey uses in Friday when Ms. Parker bends over).  For real.  I was super impressed.  Not to get down on Black men, cause Lord knows I love them, but it doesn't just take statistics to tell us that black men are less educated and therefore less successful than their other male counterparts.  That said, when one sees a brother who is good looking, well-educated (did you peep the "Dr." that precedes his name?), well-spoken, and not a cornball (no Bryant Gumbel types here...sorry) it's no doubt he'll have his share of admirers.

On twitter, the former Mrs. Raymond, makes her interest in Mr. Hill pretty obvious.  What inspired this post is a tweet that I saw from her to Mr. Hill this morning that simply read: Hi.

Call me crazy but that one word made her seem a tad bit "thirsty" to me...

Read More to find out why I thought so..........

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Sacrifice

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It hurts but I gotta do it
To you it's wrong of me but I gotta use it before I lose it
I can't shake it; it has a hold on me like you wouldn't believe
It's so tight I can hardly breathe

That's how much I want it.
How much I need it.
How much IT needs me.

You can't stop me. No one can.

I gotta let this thing out at all costs
And trust me my love, I know it's my loss
I'm sorry you can't conceive of this need I feel inside
Not even you and our love is enough to make it subside

This thing inside me has a hold on me
Strong enough that I can't ignore it, I just gotta see

See what's in store beyond the surface.

I gotta go deep and find what's pulling at me so
If this thing is worth letting you go
The tears that fall down your face hurt my heart more than you'll ever know

But they're still not enough to make me stay.

Know this love, what I have for you will never go away
It won't lie dormant and I won't keep it at bay
I'll cherish what we had; the love and all you did for me
Even the way I disappointed you in the end, you handled it gracefully

But what could I expect?
You have always been you.

Yet I have ALWAYS been me.
Maybe you just didn't see.

The Sacrifice
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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Wait On People To Do What They Say and You May Wait Forever....

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Last night, I came home from school around 9ish.  Since it's literally brick a$$ (that's slang for ridiculously cold) in NY, I live in Brooklyn, and I have a man, I think it's only right that he meets me at the train station and walks me home.  He does.  We walk home as usual, discuss our respective days and nothing is amiss.  Now I should note that earlier in the day, we were discussing how WE couldn't wait for me to get home so we could get in some QT. 

When we come up to the house his right hand man is out front. All good.

He's like "Boo, I'll be in in a second".  Cool. 

The second, is actually about 5 minutes but then he comes in and says "Boo, I'll be back in a half hour.  I have to go pick up a beat." (He's a musician) 

Fine.  It's a half hour.  Still all good. 

At 11, he calls. I hear his boys in the background ki-ki-ing it up.  He's like I'm leaving here in 15 minutes.  I say ok but really I'm thinking "Did you not say 30 minutes?"  Maybe this seems petty, and granted it was no biggie but what ever happened to the days when people did what they said and said what they meant?

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Monday, December 6, 2010

I Just Calls 'Em How I See 'Em - Keri Hilson's "The Way You Love Me" Video

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Last week Keri Hilson's video was all the rage.  Whether good or bad, people were talking about it.  To be quite honest...I couldn't really figure out how I felt about it until I gave it some more thought.

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Thursday, December 2, 2010

What Are You Talking About? - Chloe "Comfortable"

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My sister was in town this past weekend for the holiday. She's a mom of three and lives in PA so needless to say when she comes to the town, there are those few NYC fixes she needs.

One being the NYC nightlife.

My cousin told us about a party going down at Taj in the city. We arrive at 11:50 for en event that ends at midnight. We were obviously working on CPT (Colored People Time).

After a quick chat with the guest of honor, we find out the party is migrating to Moe's in Brooklyn. We head for the Brooklyn Bridge after a quick stop for some Street Meat *pause* aka Gyros (nothing quite says the NY experience like a pitstop, on the late night, at a street vendor).

When we get to Moe's, I feel like I walked into a scene from "Love Jones" or "Brown Sugar". The spot had this real hipster, neo-soul, forward thinking Black people vibe, with a few "tokens" sprinkled in. I was diggin' it. We find a lil low spot, post up, and do what we do.

About 20 minutes in, they decide it's time for a smoke break. I fall back seeing as how I don't smoke and I'm not tryna lose the spot. Bad Move. Enter: Annoying A$$ Dude aka "Rob".

Read More.......

Monday, November 29, 2010

WACK FRIDAY- Lil' Kim and Nicki Minaj's Ridiculous "Beef"

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Honestly, I hate to even go here because I'm already tired of talking about the "beef" between Lil Kim and Nicki Minaj. But we're already there, and I find the topic relevant if nothing else. I also find it to be a great dialogue starter for female solidarity and empowerment (in this case, with regards to black females).

Allow me to go in (I think I'm running with this by the way, 'cause clearly I goes IN)....

Read More............

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I Just Calls 'Em How I See 'Em - Midterm Elections

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Rewind to November 2008.  Barack was running for office. Running around town (and by town I mean the whole country of course) talking about a change we could believe in. I was fired up more than a little bit. Rushing home from work to catch MSNBC's nightly line up. First Hardball with Chris Matthews, then Countdown with Keith Olberman, and then finally Rachel Maddow. At that point, you couldn't tell me that I couldn't have had my own show on MSNBC.  I was so well versed on the issues that I could do more than hold an intelligent conversation. Not to mention the passion that I felt and the hope that I had. I was out there in DC on the mall, freezing my butt off just so I could be a part of history. I was and I'm glad. But emotions can only take you so far. 

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

It's Not That You Don't Hear Me; It's Just That You're Not Heeeeeere With Me.

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You have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. Use them! - Somebody's Mama

Have you ever been talking to someone, explaining a point with all your might?  Pulling out all the stops and you just get nothing? Crickets?? Can you honestly say that this occurrence is not one of the most annoying things ever? It's like, "Really?" "Are you that dumb?". Just kidding...but seriously though, I hate trying to explain myself and my message just continuously gets lost in translation. Especially when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex...

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

What Has Your "Potential" Done for Me Lately?

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"A woman often marries a man for his potential.  If women actually married men for who they were, there would be far less marriages." - Unknown

The other day I was browsing through the blogs online and I saw a post on Nelly and Ashanti over at theybf.com.  Check out the post HERE.  In the post, the blogger, talks about the status of Nelly and Ashanti's relationship/non-relationship.  She had an issue with the state of their status. She said "I just feel some kind of way watching a chick support a dude at all his ish (and him at hers every now and then)...and they constantly try feed us the okie doke.  And, even worse...it makes Ashanti look some type of way when even after years, a man not only doesn't claim you, but he publicly disclaims you. Just had to get that off my chest."  Ok.  There are so many things wrong with that statement.  If you'll notice, I bolded some key words.  Allow me to go in...

Read More........

Monday, November 15, 2010

Mazeltov!? What's Good? Que Paso? Do You Wear Your Culture Proudly?

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Happy Monday Fine Folks!  Hope everyone had a great weekend!  If not, make next weekend better!

Speaking of weekends, mine was great.  Saturday I hit up a party at the Empire Hotel.  Nothing to write home about but it felt good getting out in the city.  It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of NYC and get bogged down with the routine of work and home, that days and weeks pass by and it's the same old, same old.  That's for the birds!  If you don't experience life, it'll just pass you by.

While we're on the topic of experiences, I experienced my first Orthodox Jewish wedding.  It was a blast!!!  Like seriously!  No offense to any other culture but I must say...not many people know how to party like Jews.  And by party...I mean PARTAAAAY!!  Click HERE to read more......

Monday, November 8, 2010

Not a "For Colored Girls" Review - Just an observation or two....

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First off: Happy Monday! This hale, sleet, whatever it is isn't necessarily the best start to the week, but it's a start nonetheless. I'll take it!

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine? Well, it was good...if a little intense. Friday spent some time with 2 of my cousins. We went out for Thai Food in Cobblehill and then hit the Court street movie theatre in Brooklyn (a mess as usual but we were a lil pressed for time). Anywho, man that movie was intense.

So first off let me say, you can't go see a movie like "Precious" or "For Colored Girls" expecting a light romantic comedy like say "My Best Friend's Wedding". But if one did go into that movie with light expectations, I'm sure they were in for a rude awakening.  Click HERE to read more......

Thursday, October 28, 2010

"Spending" Time

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On the train home from school....ahhhh the end of another day. Right now, it feels great. Another day down, another day closer to the weekend. At first thought, sure, it sounds good, but what I really need to be asking myself is: this day that you're so happy to have "gone", have u made it a day you can be proud of?

So many days pass, and all I do is look forward to the next one and bellyache about how I can't wait for the weekend. But for what? So I can go home and "chill" (my favorite word)? I mean really: where has "chillin'" ever gotten anyone?

This time that I'm so eager to pass is PRECIOUS time that I will never get back. Sometimes I think about my life and all my ambitions and I reflect on all the time I've wasted. As evidenced by my previous blog (click here to check it out) clearly I don't think my life is over and my dreams are finished. But I do take full responsibility for my own actions and in retrospect, hunnay I wasted so much time that if it was on a timecard, I probably would be set for life #realtalk

But the larger question is: Why? Who told me I had time to waste? When ur 22 and 23, it is so easy to get caught up in that "I got time" mindframe, when in all actuality this is time that we will never get back. I equate it to money (can you tell I just left an accounting class?). The money I have today, in my pocket right now, once I spend it, it's gone. Sure I'll get more, God willing, but this particular cash will be long gone. Same with time. Sure I may have another day or 2 in me (I'm hoping for a lot more) but once this day is gone, I'll never see it again. Depressing huh? Nah not really. Knowing is half the battle.

It's so funny, because when I hear people younger than me discuss turning 25, I see myself so clearly when I was that age . So hopeful about the future and all my TIME. Had I known then, what I now know....I not only would have made better use of it, but I would have cherished it more.

So I ask you: Are you "spending" your time wisely?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Are you having a quarter life crisis?

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It's been said that the twenties are for "finding yourself" and figuring out who you are as an individual. The thirties are for actually putting into action the knowledge that the self discovery of the 20's has garnered. The forties are for actually reaping the benefits of the work that was put in during the thirties and actually finally accepting one's self for who he/she is. I can live with that logic. It sounds good and bodes well. But then why is it that myself and my peers, at times, feel unaccomplished and unfulfilled when, according to the notion stated above, we haven't even begun to tap into who we really are? Click HERE to read more....

Monday, October 11, 2010

Like I'm the only girl in the world......

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Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world…
Like I’m the only one that’s in command
Cuz I’m the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man

Ain't that the truth!!! Sang it Rih Rih! Amongst females, and people in general, we'd be hard pressed to find topics we wholeheartedly agree on. There's always a flip side and some folks are way too eager to play devil's advocate (myself included...I will argue just about ANY point...keeps the mind sharp!). That being said, most females can agree that, in the eyes of their significant other, they want to feel like the only girl in the world. But this thought process brought me to a larger question. I asked myself...I said self?? Is it that we want to FEEL like the only girl in the world or is that we want to BE the only girl in the world (to the man in question)? This I'm afraid is not a topic so easily agreed upon. I have had countless conversations with women who argue "As long as he makes me feel like I'm wifey/number 1...I'm good." Or "What I don't know won't hurt me" Or better yet "He just better not let me find out". Then there are those, like me, who want to BE the only girl in the world. Some may argue, that that's an idealistic viewpoint, especially when dealing with the opposite sex. Personally, I'm on the fence, when it comes to even believing that males have the capacity to be with only one girl in the world. I personally don't believe it's in their makeup, and if it is, they have to arrive at that point, after MUCH self discovery. But that's just me.  Click HERE to read more........

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Why am I surprised?

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I was heading onto the train yesterday after work and I was in my own version of lala land. Dropped some money while replacing my metrocard. A nice gentleman in a suit (corporate type) pointed to the money I dropped. As I was going back to get it, a woman picked it up. Before I could even say anything...he was already there tapping her on her shoulder (literally) and pointing to me as the rightful owner of the currency. I looked at him, seemingly stunned, smiled (I'd like to think brightly) and was greeted with a warm "you're welcome". It should be noted that this happened during rush hour at the Rockefeller Center train station. Maybe I've bought into the notion that NYers could give a rat's ass about each other's well being, I don't know. I do know that I was pleasantly surprised.

I had intended for this blog post to be about being UNpleasantly surprised by the lack of loyalty displayed by closest confidants and then a stranger surprises me with such a small but grand gesture, in my view. See, I was on the verge of writing off people as mere objects and obstacles. I know it sounds melodramatic and more than a tad jaded but it's how I've been feeling. I've always been the type of individual that "doesn't tell my business". I mean I may throw out a sublimenal message or 2 on FB or twitter but "never have I ever" (stole that from the game) went on a rant about my personal life and divulged specific details regarding my life. Actually, I find that pretty tacky. However, on more than one occurence I have been betrayed by a confidante, that I willingly invited into my personal space. Now if I take these occurences as lessons and use them for what they are, I would, in fact, keep my distance from all people when it comes to an extremely personal level. But then, I have to ask myself...where does that leave me? Alone with no one to talk to? Of course there are the old reliables, for those of us who are lucky, parents and significant others, but everything aint for everybody, and sometimes one wants an opinion of a peer or just maybe someone on the outside looking in. It's hard for parents and S.O.'s to remain objective, not to mention you can't talk to them ABOUT them so that leaves us at an impasse.  Click on HERE read more........

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Weighing in...........

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So over the past few weeks on many occasions I have run across the fat vs. thick debate.  To a Black woman (generally speaking) being "thick" is as good as it gets.  I think we can all agree that there is a very thin line between the two.  Admittedly, I've begrudgingly crossed that line before.  I just so happen to not be one of those women who subscribes to society's standard of beauty (85% of the time).  Although that may be true, and I wasn't necessarily down in the dumps, when I slimmed down and got back to that ideal size (for me it's an 8 but I'll take a 10 ANY day), I was running around singing The Dream's "Shawty is a 10" like an idiot.  And I'm DEAD serious.  Of course it's nice to be at your ideal size, who wouldn't want that? The problem I have is that people want to tell you what your ideal size should be, and I wanna know who gave "them" the authority? Oh yeah that's right...we did.

I'd say we've  spent long enough doing what other people think is right, being what other people think is beautiful, and just trying to live up to the status quo in general.  By we, I mean any group...blacks, women, gays, whatever.  I'm so over doing what other people say and looking how other people look.  Health should be the number one priority and if you're tipping the scales at 200+ lbs., or whatever is overweight for your particular size, then something should be done most definitely.  But what shouldn't be a priority, is trying to get that KING magazine body or an ideal that is attainable at too high a cost. 

Recently, a friend of a friend was in ICU for getting ass injections out in Brazil.  Now of course, doing anything in Brazil or any other third world country is sketchy but what if it was done in Beverly Hills by the best of the best?  Have we learned nothing from Donda West (Kanye's mother)?  People speak of teachable moments all the time, but a teachable moment has to extend beyond the moment.  It takes a conscious decision not to perpetuate the ignorance.  I know I may sound a little preachy but sue me. This whole weight topic hits a nerve with me.  I've had people say to me, "WE gotta slim down" or when describing someone who's "fat" say, "She's bigger than you".  Really??  Uhh ok. I just think it's time that we stop holding people up to OUR standard of beauty and start letting people set their own.

Make no mistake, I don't think women should let themselves go on the notion that they love themselves, a la Bruno Mars, just they way they are.  I'm just saying that we should improve upon ourselves because WE want to, not only for our health but to maintain our fabness. Not because society, the internet, magazines, or any other "they" make us feel less than.

Thoughts??

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Used to be......

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I used to be a lot of things, but as of now I'm not so sure
I'm on the road to self discovery and looking for so much more
I want to be myself, but who that is, has yet to be fully uncovered
I know what I don't want: futile competition with another
I want to live freely, and learn from my mistakes
I'm playing to win this game called life, I know how much is at stake
I don't want unnecessary stress and I can do without drama
I want to live without the bother of self-inflicted, and avertable trauma
In life, I expect to go through the unavoidable ups and downs
I will, however, work hard for smile lines but avoid excessive frowns
I intend to explore life and enjoy what it has to give
I'm not here to watch longingly, and be a voyeur from the outside; I'm here to live
I'm here to learn and soak in all that life has to offer
I'm here to be a strong woman, an inspiration to my unborn daughter
I'm not here to be what I used to be, but who I truly am
No matter how long it takes I will execute that plan

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Therapy

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Sooooo  I've been gone for a while.  It's not that I haven't had much to say or been inspired to write, I've just been lazy.  Summer is that time when you want to soak up all the me time in the world and I did just that.  It's been a nice Summer thus far.  Trips to beaches, QT with friends and fam, and most importantly, just doing me. Whether that be curling up with a good book or just watching Entourage, True Blood and/or Bethenny Getting Married, I've just been enjoying my leisure time.  Of course, as the last weeks of Summer approach, shit had to hit the fan.

So...question: Does it pay to be good to people?  Like really good??  I mean I'm no saint nor martyr but if it's one thing I pride myself on it's loyalty.  Kinda to the extreme on some G'd up death before dishonor sh*t.  Now I know, in my heart of hearts, that people just aint built like that no more but for some reason I always find myself disappointed in people.  And who's fault is it at the end of the day?  Mine.  I have learned from experience, and from Biggie, that it's always the closest ones to you that do the most surprising things, and yet we still trust people and still give people our hearts to break.  I wonder...why is that?  Are we eternal optimists who hope that one day, just one day, someone will surprise us with their authenticity?  Or is it just too hard to believe that people will sacrifice anything and anyone for a salacious story or a momentary break from their own misery.  You know what they say about misery.....Click HERE to read more.....


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Finish this sentence.......

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This AM I was scanning the blogosphere when I stumbled across an interesting Q & A and I figured I'd take a stab at it.  So here goes.......

My current state of mind has me....
Anxious about my future and what God has in store for me.  I'm always looking to "find" myself even more and figure out if some of the things I want are my real wants or if I conform to the expectations society has placed on us

The trait I most deplore in myself is....
Procrastination.  I reek of it sometimes and it's actually a little disgusting!

The living person I most admire is...
My mother.  The realest person I've ever met.

My greatest extravagance is...
Shoes!  Need some Louboutins in my life ASAP!

The quality I most like in a man is...
Loyalty and Reliability.

I admire all qualities of women because...
we rock!  No one does it like us...starting from the birth process.  And we can just leave it at that!

The word I most overuse is...
Exactly!

My favorite writers are...
Demtria Lucas, Stefanie Meyer, Charlane Harris, Tracy Brown and Zane (guilty pleasure).

The talent I'd like to have is...
Dancing.  I can 2 step but I still haven't mastered the single ladies dance :-(

My favorite fictional hero is...
Any prince from a Disney movie.  I have thing for knights in shining armor.

My favorite hero in real life is...
Oprah.  She is the WOMAN and an inspiration to ALL women!

My greatest achievement is...
I haven't had it yet.  If I had to say I'd say moving to LA because it was always a dream of mine and I made it happen.

I'd like to live...
a long time.

My most treasured possession is...
I don't have one.  I'm not that attached to my possessions.  I can always get new ones.  One thing I would hate to lose is an xoxoxo chain I got from my mother when I was 14.  I already lost the bracelet :-(

The lowest depth of misery is...
Being without my boo for an extended period of time........

The trait I most value in a friend is...
Loyalty.

My favorite names are...
Jordan, Jayden, Joshua, Jacob, Marissa, Leah....

I most dislike...
Phony and disrespectful people.

My greatest regret is...
I don't have regrets.  There's always tomorrow...God willing.

I would like to die...
OLD

My motto -
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind 
don't matter and those who matter don't mind!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Being the best me...........

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Yesterday was a long day.  Got up, got dressed, got to work and my boss had numerous tasks for me to tend to as soon as I walked through the door.  I'm not complaining because there are plenty of days where we are like two ships passing in the night and he doesn't ask me for anything.  I've learned to take the good with the bad. I was just a lil exhausted and of course the dreary weather wasn't doing much to help.  On top of that, I had a networking event to attend and I'm always a little on edge when I have things like that coming up.  Of course, there's the obligatory stress regarding what to wear.  Then there's the task of loosening myself up and getting ready to be my sociable and interesting self (at least that's the goal).  It's always nerve wrecking when there's a lot of influential people in a room and you want to stand out, but at the same time you don't want to seem like a groupie.  I'm so not a groupie but I am not too shy or prideful to admit that I want and NEED to meet people that are doing what they want to do and can help me further my career.  My ultimate goal is to LOVE what I do. Click HERE to read more......

Monday, June 7, 2010

Do YOU know who YOU are??

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I'm just sitting here reflecting on my weekend and the time I had. It was a great weekend. For one reason or another, I was just ticked off with my S.O last week from like Tuesday to Friday. I have this bad habit of holding grudges and seemingly blowing things out of proportion, but if you know women, and if you're reading this I assume you do, there is rarely a time where we do something without reasoning, #methodtomymadness. So I came home Friday, just itching to continue on with my attitude when he charmed the mess outta me, what a slickster. So after he manipulated me, we headed on over to Peaches and had dinner and wine and a nice walk home. The next day, we got up and went to Red Lobster, obviously domestic duties were not on the agenda for the weekend. He then went to do whatever it is that men do when they're with their friends and I just chilled in the crib and did me. *bliss*

Cut to Sunday. A few friends from high school were throwing a BBQ and I was all set to go. Usually, and by usually I mean the Monday through Friday work week, not having a car is not an issue. But when the S.O. is out doing his own thing and I want to do mine it becomes an issue. I was going with 2 friends who both had cars so it shouldn't have been an issue but when they both canceled I was at a loss. Randomly, my cousin calls me to go look for a computer with her. I go because she's told me in the past that when I'm with the S.O. I'm MIA. Needless to say, I couldn't say no when at the moment I was doing nothing other than laying up with him. So we ride out to Gateway discussing the comedy or shall I say DRAMA-dy that is our family. We finish up at best buy, she didn't get the computer. She's on her way to Summer Jam so I'm about to get dropped off. We head back to our side, when she says, "Let me stop over here and get my homeboy cause he's on the way". I say ok, and we head in the direction of her homeboy's crib. We pull up and he's by the car with their other friend. The other guy says, "Yo, just ride with us and let your cousin take your car". Said cousin being me. She hops in the whip with them and they're on their way. Now I have a car with somewhere to go. I call my homegirl up to ride with me and we head out to Queens for the BBQ.

We pull up to the park and I'm pleasantly surprised that's it's actually a nice park and not some semblance of a park. I head over and meet up with my old friends and am warmly received. Always good seeing old folks and as one friend mentioned, it's even better to see folks doing well. As, I'm chatting with one of my old friends, a girl walks in. Long hair (weave of course), thick, red bone. Seemingly, Weezy's type and mostly every other red blood black man #noshade. HS Friend says: "Me and my friends went out with that girl and a few of her friends and no one liked her but me." I let it go. What do I care? I'm never gonna see this girl again.  Click HERE to read more........

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Can't live with em.......

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So the old adage goes "Can't live with em', Can't live without 'em". At this point, I don't know. I'm slightly temperamental and I know that. Actually anyone who knows me knows that. But I'm ok with that, flaws and all #workinprogress. So, with that said, my boo gets on my LAST nerve! Last night had the potential to be a great night. I had some vino and I didn't have school.

He comes home, with the sweet voice and asks me to make dinner because he wanted to go work out (we take turns with dinner and his night was up). So of course after he asked so nicely I had to comply. He comes home after the workout, I have dinner ready, house smelling all good, got the vino poppin...sounds like all the makings of a fantastic night if you ask me. But of course, things didn't go quite as planned. Click HERE to find out what happened......

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It Aint All Roses.......

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So I woke up tired as hell from a long a$$ night. I dragged in this AM and of all days for my boss to get here before me it would be the one day that I was 10 minutes late. Oh wells...rough night...in a good way *insert coy wink*. Anywho, rode in to work this morning on the train on a break from my usual full album IPOD listening. I put it on random and happened to hear a few Lauryn Hill unplugged joints. Though her voice is more than a lil raspy, sounds like she may have burned one blizzy too many...I still felt like "Damn this is real music". There's just something about the rawness that is just so authentic to me. So cut to 2 cups of coffee later and a few blog reads. I stumble upon a new blog: earsandlps.blogspot.com. She's doing a write up on one of my favorite bloggers/writers, Demetria Lucas.  Check out her blog here. The focus of the interview she did was music and how she related to it. The first album that she ever fell in love with was "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill":

"Hill’s music was so pure, so honest— choosing Zion, lamenting loving a man she shouldn't and who didn’t love her, falling in love, trying to make sense of the world (“my world it moved so fast today/ the past it seems so far away/ holding me so tightly I can’t breathe…. Every time I try to be/ what someone else thought of me/ so caught up I was unable to achieve. But deep in my heart/ the answer was in me…). It spoke to everything I was going through at time. I loved how she spit more fire than any man I’d heard, but talked about what women go through."

Click HERE to read more........

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Is worrying an act of unfaithfulness?

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Man this weather today is a mess (that's my new word for some reason...don't ask why cause I couldn't tell ya). For me, in a good way though. The rain ALWAYS does one of two things for me, either it makes me tired as all hell or it makes me introspective. Today it isn't an either or, it's a little bit of both. Right now, I'm hella happy. I have a great life. Good job, School's going well (that bad ass 3.875 GPA...please excuse me for bragging but I think I earned it *giggles*), I have a great man, and great friends.

Today though, I heard from a friend who's S.O. is going through some financial trouble on top of other issues. She's worried about how things will work out in these tough economic times. I thought to myself "WOW! When it rains it pours". I know it's so cliche but I can't help but think: why do things always have to come in such a rush? Personally I'd take a slow drip, any day, over a waterfall. I'm a firm believer that GOD won't put more on us than we can bear...but we are all only humans. There is a saying that says something along the lines of "if you worry you are not trusting GOD" but I have a hard time believing that. It's like saying you're hungry with no money and you don't know where your next meal is coming from. If you trust GOD, you know eventually you will eat, somehow someway. But, that does not change the fact that you are hungry right then and there. I wonder, is worrying an act of unfaithfulness or is it just human nature?

What do you think?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Can I have a slice of humble pie for dessert?

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So I get home last night and my S.O. is cooking dinner. He was making chicken cutlets and had the house smelling all good. So I asked "What are you making?" He says "Let me surprise you."  I say okay. Then I see noodles and what not so I'm like (in my head) "Is he making spaghetti with chicken in it?" (I ordinarily don't like that...no surprise there if you know me. I'm notoriously picky with food although my waste line may not show it). So because I'm an alpha-female, I have to open my mouth and ask.

He says yeah.

I say "That's why I asked you what you were making 'cause I would have just cut up the chicken and made a salad."

Oh Lord why did I do/say that?

"I TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU AND YOU TELL ME YOU WANT SALAD???" I'm like whoa whoa whoa there buddy. Is it my fault that I don't like what you're making? (Of course I didn't say that but I was sure thinking it). So I apologized because I REALLY didn't mean to offend him and in the end, dinner ended up being REALLY good. Granted, I jumped the gun but he BROKE on me. I felt like I was the husband and I just really upset my wife over dinner. So it got me to thinking...

Was I wrong? Was I being ungrateful?  I concluded that I was. I should have just kept my mouth shut and waited to see if I even liked it before I complained. Some women would die (figuratively of course) to come home from a long day (14 hours to be exact)to their man cooking (and mine does it often) and I had the gall to complain about what he made (Hey I can take responsibility when I'm wrong). As women, when do we just shut up and be grateful? If ever.....

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Can I Be Like You When I Grow Up......

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Doesn't it feel good to make it happen?? Like REALLY make it happen and do something worth doing, and feel proud of yourself. I'm always striving to be a better woman and person. But I can't help but feel like it's never enough. And that's the thing: it shouldn't be...EVER.

I look at life like an ongoing learning experience. It continues on til that fateful day when that's it. OVER. That was for dramatic effect but for real though, do you ever wonder what you're REALLY doing? I do.

I met a guy the other day who said to me:

"Do you love what you do? I bet you don't. It's very rare that people do what they LOVE. I'm fortunate to be one of those people".

I didn't feel jealous but I felt...shamed. Like dag, how can a complete stranger just read you like that and be so right? And it wasn't personal, he was speaking to a group, but when you know your own potential it's weird. I felt like he was talking DIRECTLY to me. We parted ways with some words of wisdom he bestowed upon me and it would be an injustice not to pass it on. I mean for real, each one teach one.

Click HERE to find out the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", with my own translation of course:

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Why does she stay???

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I find it interesting that women can easily tell someone else what is wrong with them and their relationship but can not take a minute to look squarely in the mirror. On my way to work this morning, I got into it with my S.O. (borrowed that from abelleinbrooklyn.com) and I wondered to myself: Self? If u have so much to complain about with this man, then ask yourself the same question Neyo asked himself...Why does she stay? Is it because one becomes too accustomed to having someone else around that it seems unfathomable to be alone? Is it because it's not that serious? Is it because breaking up is not an option? Or is it just because it's better to have a piece of man than no man at all? I really don't have an answer that's why I felt the need to blog about it? So I ask...why does she stay???