Wednesday, April 2, 2014
An Uncle starts out as a grandparents son, and the brother of a father or mother
Some play the background, some provide nieces and nephews with a love like no other
Whether he takes you out for candy, or babysits you when mom and dad need a break
Only he can determine, the role he will take
He can be just an extra, or a costar in your life
Championing your victories, and comforting you through your strife
Preparing you for the world, teaching you how to take a joke
Delivering his messages, so that you heard him when he spoke
How to take a hit, and to just keep on pushin'
And when you falter, he will be there to fall back on as your cushion
To stare adversity down, and come out with the victory
Let your record speak for itself and lessons learned be your history
The significance of endurance and how it shapes the person you become
Survival of the fittest, to stand and fight...to never run
Teaching you the value of family, and what it means to be one
That five fingers make a fist, and a pinky makes none
The beauty of togetherness and to be there when it counts
That blood is thicker than water, even if it's just an ounce
In Loving Memory of Uncle Dee
Monday, December 2, 2013
How are you baby girl? I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. Steadily growing into the woman God has brought you to this earth to be. When I first started writing these letters to you, you were just a concept. A conception that I prayed would come but nonetheless had no idea. One thing Mommy wants you to know, is that only God knows what the future holds and I just hoped that one day you would be a reality. My reality.
Now you are. My baby girl.
As you grow inside of Mommy's womb, and I feel you moving your way around and getting acclimated to the fact that you actually can move, everything you do brings joy to my heart. The other day I saw you put your hand up to your mouth as I watched you on the screen and you melted my heart. You are a little person and soon I will meet you. Your Daddy and I couldn't be more excited about your impending arrival, I want you to know that.
Last night was a very important night for your parents. We celebrated our union with those closest to us. You were there too. Front and center...literally. Right in Mommy's belly. I want you to know that you were loved beyond measure before you even got here. As Daddy and I celebrated our love, I thought about the reason for the occasion, and baby girl, you were at the top of that list. Mommy and Daddy have been in love way before you were even thought about (as your Grandma used to say to me). We were teenage loves. With your Daddy, I don't foresee you getting out the house long enough to let a boy even think about "loving" you, but that's another topic for another time.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
How you doin? *in my Wendy voice*
Me? I'm doing...better. When I tell you 2012 has been a hell of a year for me...I mean that as literally as possible. I've grown up in ways that had you asked me last year, I would have told you something resembling "Uh uh you can't tell me nuffin'". Just 'cause you leave your teens doesn't mean you leave your know-it-all attitude behind. At least it didn't for me. Fortunately, life has a way of (re)teaching you what you thought you knew (think Jay and Bey circa 2002 when she was "Crazy In Love"), doesn't it?
Don't get me wrong. I've learned my fair share of hard lessons. There was the time when I was 18 and moved to Snellville, GA from the concrete jungle of Rosedale, Queens. Ok...so only Rosedale folks think it's the hood but we all know I get my street cred from BK. Anyway, shell shocked and too grown (or so I thought) to be told by my father that I couldn't be on my own cell phone after eleven o'clock at night, I learned real quick: Time for me to go! I wasn't about that life. I learned a lot about myself then too. Namely, how to work two jobs and get my own crib. Lesson: you aint grown til you in your own place, paying your own bills. You can talk on the phone to your heart's content.
And then of course there was the time when I was 23 and my little brother was killed and my boyfriend went up north. I learned a lot then too. Like how to lose a loved one and keep pressing on. Lesson: The world doesn't stop when you suffer a loss and neither can you.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I've used this blog in the past as an outlet for expression about things in my life. Though as I've aged (I only started the blog about a year ago but still) I've gotten a lot more guarded and sharing so much of myself has either become harder, or I've become less interested in doing so. Expression can be cathartic, but it often times invites people to have an opinion about the choices you make in your life. In my experience, people's opinions can skew your own making it harder to determine if your decisions are your own or heavily influenced by others. I prefer to be responsible for the choices that I make so I limit the people I discuss them with.
With that being said, most issues that we deal with in life are universal. The situations that we go through are all very similar, just with different characters, settings, and time periods. I don't know about you, but I've frequently been comforted by the thought of others experiencing the same things as me. You know what they say about misery loving company. But sometimes it doesn't come from hate...just relatability.
There have been many a time when I was broke as all get out and I saw people buying new Louis Bags and Red bottoms and I'm left wondering if they're going through the same economic crisis as the rest of the world. Only to find out, they may be rocking a new designer bag, but they're late on their rent, car payment or whatever. No judgment here. I'm just saying, it puts things in perspective a little bit. Makes me feel like I'm not the only one struggling.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Chile let me tell you...if I never understood when people said "We make plans and God laughs", I most definitely understand it now. These last few weeks so many monkey wrenches have been thrown into my plans that I'm just surprised one hasn't bussed me upside the head. Or maybe it did, I have been a little more coocoo as of late. I'm still looking for the knot that's sure to be forming though, so I'll let you know.
I know how this thang go. Like my man Forrest said, "Life is like a box of chocolates...ya never know what ya gonna get." Trust, I've gotten my fair share of fillings that weren't quite my faves, but I eat the outside, throw the rest away, and keep it moving. I like to think I do the same thing in my life.
Over the last few months, I've gone through some trials and tribulations. I'm not necessarily complaining because I understand that my problems are very likely no worse than yours. But when it's your life, and you're going through it's hard to keep that in perspective. Yet, one thing about me is that I don't live in a state of misery. I know that plans change.
Monday, December 19, 2011
The next morning I woke up to see the doors to the balcony open and hear splashing below. I had half a mind to believe it was a dolphin or something splashing around, but I had a glimmer of hope that it was Cash and nothing so big and aquatic would be right underneath my room. I got up and didn't bother to put anything on, as our villa was secluded enough from the others that I could be free with it. I stepped out onto the balcony and caught Cash's eye.
"This is what I call a good morning", he called from the water ogling me as he beckoned with splashing water. "Why don't you come in and join me? The water feels incredible."
"Are you serious?", I asked him eyebrows raised. "I haven't even had a chance to wipe the cold out my eye yet."
"Don't worry about it. The ocean'll take care of allll that. Besides, it's just as jealous as me that you're up there and we're down here.", he mock pouted.
I had a choice to make right then and there. I could do what I normally did, and get acclimated to actually being awake before I jumped out the window. This time only literally. Or I could be spontaneous and fun and join my man down in a real fantasy. I'll take door number two please. I ran into a dive and jumped head first into the ocean. I opened my eyes underwater and found Cash's legs. I swam up to him and emerged from the water inches from his face.
Friday, December 9, 2011
When I pulled up to the airport in a black Lincoln towncar, Cash was waiting for me on the airstairs looking oh so dapper, adorned in a cream linen suit and some brown and cream wingtips. His attire told me we were headed some place where the climate was tropical, and I said a silent thank you that we weren't headed to Antarctica or something.
He descended the stairs just as the driver grabbed my bag and took it to the cargo hold. In his hand he held a champagne flute, with a strawberry on the rim as a garnish. He pressed his lips to mine, embraced me, and offered me the champagne. He appraised me with a look of flattering appreciation and said,
"A little something to celebrate our first trip together. You look gorgeous as always."
And I was glad to hear it. I was dressed in a pair of Chloe high waisted cream palazzo pants, a Dolce & Gabanna black silk button down blouse with a multi-layered Chanel necklace strung with black, silver, and cream beads, a pair of black Brian Atwood shooties to finish the look. Although I tried to make it look easy, it wasn't such an easy feat getting ready for a trip, an overseas one at that, within a day's notice.
I'd had to get an emergency wax at Completely Bare, tip my stylist extra love love to change my weave to a wet and wavy on the fly, just in case there would be an ocean concerned, and I'd had to go shopping for things that weren't already in my closet. On top of that, I had been up all night packing and trying on clothes, that I was exhausted as I don't know what. If not for the double shot of espresso, a cup of coffee and some concealer, I would have been looking ratchet. And clearly that just won't do.
He didn't need to know all of that though. I just took the compliment with a coquettish smile and replied,
"Thank you, babe. As do you. So are you gonna tell me where we're going?"
"Ever been to Bora Bora?