Monday, December 2, 2013
Letters to My Unborn Child - The Josephs
How are you baby girl? I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. Steadily growing into the woman God has brought you to this earth to be. When I first started writing these letters to you, you were just a concept. A conception that I prayed would come but nonetheless had no idea. One thing Mommy wants you to know, is that only God knows what the future holds and I just hoped that one day you would be a reality. My reality.
Now you are. My baby girl.
As you grow inside of Mommy's womb, and I feel you moving your way around and getting acclimated to the fact that you actually can move, everything you do brings joy to my heart. The other day I saw you put your hand up to your mouth as I watched you on the screen and you melted my heart. You are a little person and soon I will meet you. Your Daddy and I couldn't be more excited about your impending arrival, I want you to know that.
Last night was a very important night for your parents. We celebrated our union with those closest to us. You were there too. Front and center...literally. Right in Mommy's belly. I want you to know that you were loved beyond measure before you even got here. As Daddy and I celebrated our love, I thought about the reason for the occasion, and baby girl, you were at the top of that list. Mommy and Daddy have been in love way before you were even thought about (as your Grandma used to say to me). We were teenage loves. With your Daddy, I don't foresee you getting out the house long enough to let a boy even think about "loving" you, but that's another topic for another time.
Daddy and I have spent the last 14 years growing in our love and getting to know one another. Good. Bad. And Ugly. We always inherently knew that we were the love of each other's lives but to be honest with you baby girl, we were in no rush to "make it official" as they say. You see, one thing I always want you to do is to live by your own rules. March to the beat of your own drum. I want you to respect God and the vision that he has set forth for you, no doubt, but I also want you to know that it is not for Mommy, Daddy, nor society to determine the way in which you will live your life and find your happiness. You are to forge your own path and know that as long as you keep God first, he will guide you and direct you to your predetermined destination.
I have been led here.
Most little girls dream of getting married, their Prince Charmings, the whole nine yards. Mommy wanted to one day be a wife, as I imagine you will too, but I didn't grow up seeing wives in my family. I grew up seeing "baby mother's", as we used to say in my day. It's taboo to even call a woman that because we are all more than that, but being a wife is an honor that I had never seen bestowed upon any of the women in my maternal family. Now baby girl, we don't judge those whose lives are different than our own, but we do learn from our surroundings, what we do and don't want for our own future families. I'm sure there will be some things that Mommy does that you will undoubtedly say "I won't do that to my child". And maybe you won't. But just know Mommy always will do her best to the be the best mother I can be to you and to minimize the amount of times you say it (and I better not hear you by the way).
One of those things I witnessed that I did not want for you, was the fact that your grandparents, my parents, were not married. The love that I witnessed surpassed that of many I see til this day, but unfortunately our familial structure was typical for our neighborhood, and not necessarily in the best way. I would go to school and my classmates would call my mother "Ms. White" but that was not your grandmother's name. Her and I did not share the same last name. We were not "The White's". I can't say it bothered me too much at the time because as I mentioned we were not lacking in love and every other component of a family, but it impacted me enough to know that I did not want the same for you.
On the day you come into this world, you will come into it with your Mommy, Daddy, and you sharing one name. "The Joseph's". I'm still getting used to saying it as your Daddy became my husband less than a week ago. We love each other very much baby girl, and it's highly likely we would have tied the knot one day. But out of respect for you, and future generations, we wanted to make it a reality now. Always know that there is no perfect time for anything. Everything happens in God's time. But also know that you and only you determine how you want to your story to be told and the example you want to set.
I married your Daddy because there is no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with. But baby girl, I want you to know that I also married him out of respect for you and the lessons I want to teach you, even before you are old enough to understand. I want you to know that we love you more than words can describe, and I always want you to respect yourself and demand that same respect from others, because your Daddy and I respected you enough to set that standard for you.
I love you baby girl.
Until next time,