Thursday, February 9, 2012

Plans Change

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Chile let me tell you...if I never understood when people said "We make plans and God laughs", I most definitely understand it now. These last few weeks so many monkey wrenches have been thrown into my plans that I'm just surprised one hasn't bussed me upside the head. Or maybe it did, I have been a little more coocoo as of late. I'm still looking for the knot that's sure to be forming though, so I'll let you know.

I know how this thang go. Like my man Forrest said, "Life is like a box of chocolates...ya never know what ya gonna get." Trust, I've gotten my fair share of fillings that weren't quite my faves, but I eat the outside, throw the rest away, and keep it moving. I like to think I do the same thing in my life.

Over the last few months, I've gone through some trials and tribulations. I'm not necessarily complaining because I understand that my problems are very likely no worse than yours. But when it's your life, and you're going through it's hard to keep that in perspective. Yet, one thing about me is that I don't live in a state of misery. I know that plans change.

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This winter, after a relatively successful fall quarter. I was looking forward to being finished with school by summer of 2013. School is great but it's a bitch of delayed gratification. You trudge to campus, season after season, all with your eye on the prize (that good ole degree), but that finish line seems further than a muh sometimes. This current quarter, as school approached, I realized that in order to proceed I had a balance of about a G to clear before I could start. Lord knows I ain't have it and because he knew, of course he made a way out of no way. 'Cause that's just what he does.

Crisis averted, I head to school with a pocket full of money that it will no doubt be hard to part with but I gotta do what I gotta do.  Eye on the prize and all. I head straight to student accounts to handle this before I have a Kanye moment and spend ends that I don't have. When I reach, I am stunned to find out that the money that I had come to pay, was a past due balance. There is another G that I have to pay if I want to go to school full time. And guess what? I aint got it. It was hard enough coming up with the G that I did have. Going to school full time is looking like a dream deferred. Plans change.

I won't be graduating in that summer that I had long looked forward to. I was discouraged of course, truth be told I still am. I'm human. But a dream deferred is just that. A deference but not a dead end. I will still be graduating. The timeline that I was on has changed, but that's life. Gotta keep it moving. I'm not a big believer in chance and I know that the greater plan is bigger than any that I could have had for myself.

The reason I share this is because I know I am not the only one that has gone through this. And this is not the first nor the last time. Sometimes it helps to hear that you are not the only one going through. That just because things don't work out the way you'd hoped, doesn't mean they won't work out at all. Just continue to keep your eye on the prize and all will work out as it's supposed to. I know I will.

Tell me. Have you had any dreams deferred? Or plans that you pretty much thought were done and then they changed?

2 comments:

Hannah said...

Hey boo.. Glad to see your back, in reference to your post we all go through those hard bumps on that long road, be school, work, personal life relationships it's all about getting through it, "there will always be light at the end of the tunnel " that's what I always lived by. I'm going through it now myself but I know in time things will be better, I will find my happy place and all that I want and need to accomplish I will. All things in life and in your path are lessons, don't take those two steps back just know you will be just fine at the end of the day.

MISS WHITE said...

Thanks girl! I'm not taking any steps back. There may be a detour but never complete regression. Good kuck with everything and thanks for reading and commenting!