Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Will Try To Fix You...Except You're Not Broken

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When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I've used this blog in the past as an outlet for expression about things in my life. Though as I've aged (I only started the blog about a year ago but still) I've gotten a lot more guarded and sharing so much of myself has either become harder, or I've become less interested in doing so. Expression can be cathartic, but it often times invites people to have an opinion about the choices you make in your life. In my experience, people's opinions can skew your own making it harder to determine if your decisions are your own or heavily influenced by others. I prefer to be responsible for the choices that I make so I limit the people I discuss them with.

With that being said, most issues that we deal with in life are universal. The situations that we go through are all very similar, just with different characters, settings, and time periods. I don't know about you, but I've frequently been comforted by the thought of others experiencing the same things as me. You know what they say about misery loving company. But sometimes it doesn't come from hate...just relatability.

There have been many a time when I was broke as all get out and I saw people buying new Louis Bags and Red bottoms and I'm left  wondering if they're going through the same economic crisis as the rest of the world. Only to find out, they may be rocking a new designer bag, but they're late on their rent, car payment or whatever. No judgment here. I'm just saying, it puts things in perspective a little bit. Makes me feel like I'm not the only one struggling.

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Lately, I'm finding that our tendency to keep our personal struggles private can shame people into thinking it is not ok to go through whatever it is that they may be going through. But it is ok. The shame that people feel when going through life's struggles is likely associated with the way we as society shed light on certain things.

Whether it is a teen who is too afraid to come out of the closet because it is shunned within his community. A woman struggling to discuss her abortion of a child that she could not afford, because somebody's pro-life. A person on public assistance too embarassed to pull out that EBT when a professional is on the line in front of them. Or even a person living with a disease such as HIV or mental illness, who doesn't get their medication because they are too embarassed to put in the prescription.

I definitely don't think that we should be shouting all our personal business in the middle of Times Square with a bullhorn. I sure won't be. But I definitely think that we should talk more about sensitive issues so that when we are going through them, we feel like we can reach out without being embarassed. Or shamed.

No matter how hard we try, we may not be able to eradicate the problems of those we love, but we can be as open minded as possible and be there for them as much as we can. Most importantly, I feel that we should stop making people and ourselves feel that we need to be fixed. To be fixed means you are broken, and the last time I checked God only creates perfection. He made us how he wanted us to be and when we lose our way, he put the rest of us here to bring each other back. Let's all do ur parts. Xoxo

2 comments:

Shu Banga said...

Deep Nee-née. You betta go sis! Love it. You are so right. I am definetly guilty of that because I am terribly private and quite selective about who I share personal experiences with. I feel, held back, in a sense as far as writing is concerned because I'm not yet ready to give my whole self to the world. Let's climb this hurdle together! 😄. I'm gettin better little by little

MISS WHITE said...

Thanks for reading and commenting Shu! I'm glad you related to this and we will most definitely work on this together! We're all works in progress. ;-)