Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Exed Out The Circle

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I hate to admit that I'm such a hardcore fan of Basketball Wives, but to my own chagrin, I will concede that I watch right along with the other 4.2 million viewers. As much coonery and buffoonery runs rampant round them parts, I routinely tune in to catch it. When the show first premiered, I was one of the main ones talking about "that show does nothing for our community", and it "does nothing for the relationships of black women". That is until one day I caught one of those Saturday marathons that VH1 and MTV use to suck you in. As a marketing major, I can appreciate their tactics.

As I watch Basketball Wives get outta control with the women going upside each other's heads, the tonguing men down on camera before the divorce papers are signed, and let's not forget the bitchassness of the men on the show (Eric Williams throwing that drink in Jen's face was downright despicable), I realize that Basketball Wives does a great thing for our community. It shows us what not to do, and how impulsiveness can quickly lead to foolishness.

Foolishness aside, people love drama. And as Tami Roman said in a recent article with The Examiner, drama is what viewers want to see. We probably wouldn't be talking about Basketball Wives (and I probably wouldn't be writing about it), were there no drama. They have earned a spot in pop culture today and, like it or not, they've become more than relevant. So relevant that they even have their own catchprases. From Gloria's "that's whassup" to Evelyn's "non-muthaf*ckn factor", the ladies have definitely coined their fair share of phrases. In an interview with  24WiredTV, Jennifer Williams breaks down the BW lingo. One phrase in particular that stood out to me was "the circle".

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On numerous occasions, the ladies have made mention of the circle starting with when Suzie was kicked out of it for running her mouth. Gloria never even made it into the circle. Tami could give a damn about the circle. And poor Meeka literally got snuffed out the circle.

What I found interesting is what happens to the girl who gets exed out? And who is the leader of a so called circle? It all sounded pretty mean girlish to me but then again it is Basketball Wives. It got me to thinking about real life and how I've felt in the past when I've been exed out of a circle. My first experience was when I was in elementary school. A classmate called my house and left a lude message on my answering machine (fresh ass little girl). After a few listens, my mother and I identified the culprit, and my mother being the G that she is took me over to the girl's house. Her mother was told, she got in trouble, and I thought that was that.
The next day at school, I was public enemy number one. None of the other girls in our circle were talking to me. I'd been iced out. As a kid, I didn't really understand but what I did know was that I felt alone, and I didn't like the feeling.

As an adult, I've exited my share of circles but now it's me leaving on my own accord. No one should ever be made to feel like they are less than or not worthy of a clique. Who does that? And furthermore, who cares that much? For grown women to be running around talking about who's in and out of a circle is pretty absurd to me. Cliques don't always consist of real friends anyway, just fillers. The pretty one, the fashionable one, the stank one, the funny one, the fat one, and so on and so forth. But real friends aren't characterized by their superficial features. They're defined by their actions and the ways in which they are there for one another. Being in a circle is a bit juvenile, but being apart of real relationships of substance is what really matters.

When building a relationship, the only circle I'm concerned with is the figurative circle of trust. And once you make it into that, we're good to go. I think it's important to know what we want out of our friendships so we don't stay in a "circle" for the sake of saying I have a clique. Or those are my girls. As I grow older, I realize that I only want those around me that have my best interest at heart. Not those that make my circle look good.

What say you?? Do you have a problem with the circle? Are you apart of one?

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