Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Kyla Chronicles: Here's Lookin' At You Kyla


Last night, was incredible. Now run home to that little girl of yours. As long as I continue to get mine, I'll continue to keep our little secret.

I read that line over I don't know how many times, caught somewhere between shock and disbelief. I wouldn't necessarily call myself gullible, but I believed Tristan loved me. Well...I had until a moment ago. Call me foolish, but three years with a man will do that to you. Last I knew, tonight was his first night home from a two month tour. I thought I was the first face he'd seen. The first stop he'd made. Now I was finding out he'd been in town a night prior? Then again, "last night" didn't have to be in New York, did it? But who could he have seen on the road to have a "secret" with? Had he even been on the road at all?

So many questions, but nowhere to start but that message. What to do? I had a man waiting for me in the shower who I was beginning to think I didn't even know. To boot, I'd just had sex with him. Good sex. Scratch that. Great sex. Hold up, forget the sex! But while we're on the sex, thank God it was protected sex. I've been known to slip up. Just thinking of those times and how stupid I'd been had my mind reeling and wanting to do like somebody's crazy mama and take a belt to that wet ass. The possibility that my Tristan could have brought home some nasty ass disease to me, had me envisioning doing some crazy shit to the man. My head was starting to spin out of control and that was not good. For his ass.

I still had on my Giuseppe's since he liked me to keep them on while we got it poppin'. Kudos to me for being a trooper. Who would've known my compliance would prove so useful? I went in the coat closet, threw on my ASOS trenchcoat, grabbed my phone and keys, threw them in my Louis bag, and bolted out the door. I needed time and more info before I made a move. I'm the type of chick to end up on Snapped and I loved Tristan. I really did. I didn't want to hurt the man (necessarily). But I did want to get to the bottom of this. What the hell was going on?

I hopped in my truck, and pulled out of the lot like the getaway driver in a heist. I was trying to get the hell out of dodge before he realized I'd left, and came downstairs and got his wig popped. I headed straight for the BQE with no clear destination in mind. I just knew I needed to be moving. And fast. After about twenty minutes of driving, listening to Jazmine Sullivan's "Bust Your Windows" on repeat, I looked up and I was at the Canarsie Pier. During my ride, Tristan was blowing up my phone like C4, but I wasn't stuntin' him. I hadn't picked up one call.

He'd clearly figured out his phone was missing. The caller id showed that he was calling from the house phone. I took comfort in knowing he was probably losing his mind. Better that than losing his life, if you ask me. I hate to sound like a homicidal maniac; I really am a sweet girl. But I consider cheating, putting my life in danger. You see, in my view, an std is just as bad as a loaded weapon. With such disregard for my safety, why should I give a damn about his?

I pulled up to the pier, got out of the car, and walked over to a bench overlooking the water. I took out his phone and went back to the message. Clearly he'd erased all prior messages, because there was nothing else to go off of besides that single, solitary BBM. So I did the next thing that came to my mind. I sent the chick a message of my own:

Let's have a repeat of last night.

I don't know what made me type that. Of course, I was more than a little curious as to the nature of this relationship. On top of that, I was a woman scorned. We all know they can't be held accountable for their actions. I needed a way in and I gave myself one. Almost immediately, she hit me back,

?? Since when are you so willing??

Huh? This shit just got more and more confusing.

Since now.

I waited.

Why the sudden change of heart? Just last night it was like pulling teeth. Thank goodness your little man can still perform under pressure.

Heart sank. But curiosity prevailed.

I do what I can. So when can I see you again?

You can see me whenever but you never see me when we're in town.  Lil mama not making you happy?

Keep her name out your mouth cause she will get in that ass. 

Oh wait. Would he actually say that? Reel it in Kyla.

Touchy Touchy. Don't worry when we go back on the's back to business as usual. Singing next to you on stage is the best foreplay anyway.

WTF? A fellow background singer. Ain't this some shit? I was starting to feel like I was caught up in some warped production of Dreamgirls and I was starting to look like Effie.  I mean, I know it gets lonely on the road, but it got lonely for me too! What about what I need? I understand he's a man, so being faithful may come a little harder to him, but after three years you throw everything away for some ass on the road? What about me-eeee? 

As I sat there, thoughts racing by faster than the speed of light, I heard footsteps heading in my direction. Before I knew it, there was a fine specimen of a man looking down on me expectantly. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew we were in Brooklyn, the lightpost, the corresponding light shining down on my face, and the shorty in my direct line of  sight, would have had me thinking I was in a scene from Casablanca. Well, that and the added tidbit that we were a bit darker hued than Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman.

"Why are you sitting over here at this time of night all by your lonesome? Don't you know this is Brooklyn?", the handsome stranger said.

"I'm from Brooklyn. Trust I know where I'm at. I'm chillin'. Why you worried?", I answered. I didn't care of I sounded flippant. I didn't need this shit tonight.

"I'm worried because I'm what you call a man, and it bothers me to see a wo-man out here late like this by herself. Have you never heard of such a thing? A man that is.", he countered.

Not lately.

"Oh I see you got a smart ass mouth and I'm really not in the mood.", I said and continued looking at Tristan's phone rereading the response from songstress.

"Well, I apologize for being smart, but I would be grateful if you smartened up and kept it moving. I came out here for a smoke and did not expect to run into you. But now that I have, I'll be damned if I let something happen to you. Tonight anyway.", he declared.

Tonight. A hell of a night it had been.

Conventional wisdom told me that Tristan was a good guy. But the text message, and the subsequent conversation told me something entirely different. This man was keeping something from me, starting with sleeping with another woman. That was about all I needed to know. Like I said before, I'm no slouch. I'm no Beyonce (or Kelly..sidenote: have you seen her lately? HOT!), but I am Kyla St. James and knowing my worth has never been something that I've struggled with. F*ck Tristan! With a capital F!

"You'll be damned if you let anything happen to me? Ok. With such conviction, I should at least know your name. Ya know, just in case the damsel is in distress. I need to know who to call.", I said.

He chuckled. "I've got much more than conviction, but for now, my name is Cash. You are, damsel?", he asked.

"Kyla." I held out my hand it shake his and he lifted it to his mouth and kissed. I retrieved my hand and continued, "Soooo...Cash? What were your plans for the evening before my grown ass came out here and you got all in my business? You know, protecting me and shit."


Cash was suave and debonair, and did I mention fine? He was about 6'3", caramel colored, with broad shoulders and a wide back. His skin was smooth, his face youthful, but he had a goti that easily took a guy from boy to man. Though, trust me, there was nothing boyish about Cash. His style was impeccable, but he still had a bit of thug in him. A thug and a gentleman. My perfect mix. Though he'd initially annoyed me by clocking my moves, when I got my thoughts together, I'd realized he'd actually been quite chivalrous. I'd just been too pissed at Tristan to notice. Or even care.

After I'd asked him his plans, he told me he'd had none other than to come out to the water, and then maybe drive home. I eased up on the smart comments and told him I'd had a rough night. I left out most of the details but I did tell him I'd just been done dirty by my boyfriend. He suggested we try to turn the night around. With some prodding, I eventually acquiesced. I reasoned, though I'd always remember it for being the night Tristan shitted on me, I could also remember it as being the first night I'd met Cash.

We got in his Maserati and took a drive up the Belt Parkway to the Verrazano Bridge. We laughed and talked, but mostly I just got a chance to forget about Tristan for a little while. Amazed by how the car seemed to hug the road I wondered, who drives a Maserati in Brooklyn? And who can afford one? I asked him as much. He told me he worked for a Hedge Fund in the city but he owned a local bar in Canarsie. I wondered how he'd gotten a job somewhere as prestigious as a hedge fund. I asked him as much. Whaat? When I wanna know something I ask.

He told me that he'd been the first in his family to graduate college, in lieu of spending those four years up North like most of the guys from his neighborhood. He'd done well in finance and made a few of the right connections that had eventually led him to his current position at one of the top firms in New York City. He no longer lived in Brooklyn, but he was from there and wanted to invest in his own community. He opened a place where people could go out eat, drink, and have a good time. Whenever he went to check in on his bar and make sure things were running smoothly, he'd try to make it to the pier for some introspection and to smoke one of his Cuban cigars. Tonight he'd found a little more than introspection. He'd found me.

After our ride up the Belt, I still wasn't ready to go home and face Tristan. Cash must've seen it in my face or something because I was surprised when he said, 

"Kyla, I know we just met and I don't want you to think I'm some psycho freak, but if you don't want to go home tonight, you can stay with me."

"Stay with you?", I said, eyebrows raised. "What kind of chick do you think I am Cash? The kind who leaves one asshole and ends up in the bed of another the same night?"

"Well, first off I'm not an asshole. And second, I don't take you for anything but the woman I've had such an incredible night with. For some reason, from the time I've laid eyes on you, I've had a compulsion to protect you. Take care of you. And  tonight, I want to protect you from bad dreams of real assholes. Like your man." He said and then gave me a teasing smile. "If you end up in my bed, it would be only to sleep. I wouldn't cheapen tonight by trying to seduce you. I'll save that for tomorrow night."

I laughed.

Now usually, I don't do this. No really I don't. But I'd been doing a lot of things I hadn't usually done recently. Getting in a car with a strange (although fine) man. Sitting out by the water, where my body could easily be disposed of might I add, if said strange man went all serial killer on me. Now going home with the same strange man. Reckless as hell I know, but this was a crazy night already. I was just going with it. Anyway, I'd felt a connection with Cash and I was throwing caution to the wind. Plus, I carried a little .22 in my purse, just in case I had to pop off. Literally. Didn't I say this was Brooklyn? Mama ain't raise no fool. 

I was enjoying the company of this man and making Tristan sweat was just an added bonus. He was still blowing up my phone, and I was still ignoring it. Just then, I decided for sure. I wasn't going home for the night. Why was I rushing home to deal with him when I was actually enjoying the company of the man sitting right next to me? If he could show such disregard for our relationship, so could I. Besides, Cash was somehow there when I needed someone and for that I was grateful.

That night Cash had kept his word. He'd only held me in his arms while he slept and I lied awake thinking. The night I'd spent with him had given me an epiphany. I loved Tristan but he wasn't the end all be all. His behavior had shown me that he wasn't even worth the three years I'd given him. There are plenty of men out there. Maybe it was time I started assessing my options. Tristan clearly had. Maybe it was time to try new things. Maybe a whole new Kyla. Maybe it was time I took a good look at myself and figured out exactly who Kyla was...or who Kyla could be.

To be continued.... 


Quonetta said...

Girlllllll, That was GOOD! Got me looking over my shoulder for a smoove dude like that!

MISS WHITE said...

lol! Word right? I'm glad you liked it! And thanks for reading! ;-)

S.J, said...

This every week... got me like a crack have to just go ahead and write that book girl so I can get it all in one shot! Beautiful hun!Wonderful!

MISS WHITE said...

Thanks girl!!! I really appreciate the support and confidence! The book is coming...getting my feet wet with Kyla! I like this whole crack addict thing tho! Lol!

sarina said...

I love it.

MISS WHITE said...

Thank u!!

Alissa said...

WOW. It went from dabble, to hobby, and BAM- this one went CAREER! Excellent work Miss White. I will be subscribing so I get these HOTT off the PRESS from now on. Hat's off to you my friend!

MISS WHITE said...

Thanks Lissy!!! I'm so happy you're enjoying it! I go back and read from the beginning and I see how it's changed too.