Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I'm Still Confused: Can Attractive Men and Women Be "Just Friends"?
For some reason this age old question is still relevant: Can Attractive Men and Women Be "Just Friends"?
Let me tell you a little something about me: I'm not the type of girl that runs around here screaming every man is fine aka "a shorty". For me to classify you as a shorty you need a few things and I find most men lacking. Fellas, if you're reading this, by no means am I saying this to say that I'M your definition of a "shorty". If I'm not, that's cool but quite frankly you may not be my standard either. I say that to say, if you are what I would consider a "shorty", friendship just probably isn't in the cards for us. "Shorties" try to befriend me all the time and I often tell 'em, I ain't really in the market for any new "friends" right about now.
Yet sometimes I'm also often left wondering: Am I cutting off potential friends using the mindset of a close-minded individual that assumes most men want to be my "friend" with the hopes that we'll end up being more? More like bedroom buddies? Or am I just being realistic and taking these dudes at face value, knowing that they want to be my friend for as long as it takes for them to get in my panties? Which leads me to my conclusion...Friends? Pish tosh! You only wanna be my friend until I have a momentary lapse and then BOOM...you got me (or you got them)! Guess what? I'm good. I got enough friends.
Now I have to be real here (as is the point of this blog). Every male friend that I have started out as being attracted to me. I'm not trying to beep my own horn, but in the words of Vivica A. Fox in "Two Can Play That Game", uuuhhh Beep Beep. Any woman on the better side of "she's aight" can relate to the chase and the feeling of being some man's acquisition. An acquisition doesn't even mean you've given up the draws, it could just mean that you've given a dude the time of day. I know, for me, once I've given you the time of day the law of averages is in your favor. But the "time of day" means what exactly? Some conversation? Some introspection? And then what??? We end up being...friends? I don't know about ya'll, but for me friends of the opposite sex go only so far. Furthermore, when you're in a relationship there's only so far that you can let a new "friend" in. On top of that, even if you do want to let them in further, respect and reverence for your partner may stagnate the "friendship".
Which brings me back to the question that begins this debate...if ya homeboy looks like Biggie, most likely ya'll good. But if he looks like Idris Elba or Michael Ealy, Houston, Dallas, AND Austin may have a problem.
What say you? Can attractive men and women be friends? Or are we all just kidding ourselves?