Tuesday, February 15, 2011
My Man? On A Scale From 1 To 10...What Are YOU???
Recently I was talking to my homeboy and his man about this girl we all know. In my opinion, she's a pretty girl. Would I say she's a "10"? Maybe not, but scaling is subjective, is it not? And actually, a 10 means perfect right? So if we accept that premise, there are no 10's out here. Not even Beyonce, who I considered a 10 until I realized that her legs don't jiggle not just 'cause she's in great shape, which she undeniably is, but because she wears tights to keep them thighs in check. She uses make-up to provide the illusion of a lack of stretch marks, and after watching her "I Am Sasha Fierce" Tour DVD, and the multiple close ups, I realized that, like me, one of her eyes is visibly smaller than the other. Now for me to ascertain all of this about a female that I pretty much considered the prototype for perfection (and my motivation to get this body tight), means that even those who we consider on the brink of impeccability are flawed in some capacity *Cue Bey's Flaws and All*.
So my homeboy says:
"What's up with ole girl?"
Me: "She chillin'. You got her number, call her."
Homeboy: "Yeah she bad."
His Man: "Son, she's not bad."
Homeboy: "How you figure? Yes she is."
His Man: "She's aight. I mean she's pretty in the face, but she aint bad."
All the while, I'm sitting there listening to them thinking: My Man? On A Scale From 1 To 10...What Are You???
I find this happens often where dudes are concerned. Granted there's nothing wrong with preferences and beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder as we all know, but what's simply baffling is that men sit around and pick apart detail for detail about what makes a woman not so perfect. Ha! Now that's just plain ole funny. Now don't get me wrong, women are guilty of this too, which is probably the reason that so many of us are single. My philosophy is this: If you can't be picky with your mate, what/who can you be picky with? There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want and having standards, but to act like YOU'RE the cat's meow and everyone else is kitty litter is just ridiculously self centered.
For instance, women who have a list of what they don't want in a man. He can't have kids, he can't be an ex convict (hey I don't have a problem with convicts, I'd scoop Mike Vick's ole dog fighting chocolate ass up in a minute), he can't have taco meat (really...I've heard this, nothing a razor or some nair can't handle). Then there are the surface things he must have - he has to make X amount of dollars, he has to drive this/have a car, he has to have a nice place and a degree. I could go on and on...and on (as I obviously was about to do). To me, this line of thinking is futile. Maybe starting with what we do want in a man by basing it on morals, character and values is a better place to originate the search for a partner.
I'm not some naive girl either who expects men to do the same thing. As I've mentioned here before, men and women are clearly two different animals and we women just aint built like that. So I understand that along with intelligence and a pretty face, a fatty and a coke bottle shape are ideally what a man wants. No problem there. The problem is...as a man, with all your expectations, scales, and requirements for this bad chick...what do YOU bring to the table? This same dude who was talking about how bad this girl was not, lives at home with his momma, his kid and is unemployed. Chick may not have been bad but homie I hate to break it to you...neither are you!
Miss White Note: For a male's perspective that was too funny not to share click HERE.