Monday, December 20, 2010

What's Good for the Gander Aint Good for the Goose...

I've always wondered why the saying goes "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." 

For those of us who don't know, a gander is defined as a male goose.  Now that we know that, shouldn't it be more like "What's good for the gander is good for the goose"? 

Last time I checked, it was women who fought for equality and the right to be treated the same as men. In terms of treatment in the work place, as far as voting is concerned, and in society period.

Seeing as how the actual feminist movement ended in the 1920's, it baffles me that women haven't come farther than we should have.  Not only in terms of the workplace where men earn substantially more than women but in our relationships.  I notice that women often value our relationships with men more than we do our relationships with one another.

Don't agree?

Read more to find out how I've drawn this conclusion....

Case in point:

This past weekend, I was calling my homegirl nonstop.  We have plans to travel together in January so there were some things we needed to finalize.  I kept calling...and calling...and calling....Nothing!  Needless to say, I was worried.  She lives out of town, she has children, and she doesn't have family that lives nearby.  Rightfully so, I was a little concerned. 

Finally, after my umpteenth call.  She picks up.


"Ummmm Hello.  Glad to see you're alive.  I've been calling you like crazy."

"Yeah.  I've been going through something."

"I mean what is it a big secret or something?"

"Ummm...for now it is."

"Ok.  I'll just talk to you later."

"Ok.  Love you."

"Mmmhmm.  Love you too. Bye."


I'm making sure you're not lying somewhere in a ditch and you give me this blah a$$ explanation about "something".  First, I should mention, I'm not very forthcoming with my personal "business" so I don't try to squeeze people's business outta them either.  My philosophy is:  if you want to tell me, you'll tell me. With this particular friend I DO share my business, and she hers, so I think I was justifiably confused when she hit me with such a vague explanation. 

Cut to a few days later when another mutual friend was having a problem with her disappearing act.  She tracked her down, found out she had male company and this time her response was "I'm sorry but when he's here it's hard to pick up the phone."


Everybody needs QT with their man/shorty.  Not an issue, nor a big surprise.  But when people are genuinely concerned about you, and you can't take a moment to say "Hey I'm alive.  No need to call the coroner." I take issue with that.

To back up my earlier point about the difference between the way females treat their friends as opposed to men, all I have to do is change the scenario.  Imagine us having a girl's weekend and her being out of commission and/or MIA.  Her man couldn't contact her, nor anyone who knew of her whereabouts.  The likelihood of that happening is most probably slim to none.

I don't think it's asking for too much to show the same courtesy to ALL loved ones.  Of course, your man would be more in tune with what's going on in your life, as he should in my personal opinion.  But a little consideration goes a long way.  In this particular case, I found myself asking "Why isn't what's good for the gander, good enough for the goose?"

Can you tell me??


keishauna said...

It's never ever gonna change! Woman will always try and glorify their man to their homegirls in an attempt to make them jealous for lack of a better word or keep everything a secret b/c they know he isn't about anything. And not for nothing men do this mess. They go on the "bro's b4 hoes" theory. Maybe we should adopt a "Chicks b4 dick" theory.

MISS WHITE said...

Thanx for your comment! I think there's something to that theory of yours!