Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Therapy

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Sooooo  I've been gone for a while.  It's not that I haven't had much to say or been inspired to write, I've just been lazy.  Summer is that time when you want to soak up all the me time in the world and I did just that.  It's been a nice Summer thus far.  Trips to beaches, QT with friends and fam, and most importantly, just doing me. Whether that be curling up with a good book or just watching Entourage, True Blood and/or Bethenny Getting Married, I've just been enjoying my leisure time.  Of course, as the last weeks of Summer approach, shit had to hit the fan.

So...question: Does it pay to be good to people?  Like really good??  I mean I'm no saint nor martyr but if it's one thing I pride myself on it's loyalty.  Kinda to the extreme on some G'd up death before dishonor sh*t.  Now I know, in my heart of hearts, that people just aint built like that no more but for some reason I always find myself disappointed in people.  And who's fault is it at the end of the day?  Mine.  I have learned from experience, and from Biggie, that it's always the closest ones to you that do the most surprising things, and yet we still trust people and still give people our hearts to break.  I wonder...why is that?  Are we eternal optimists who hope that one day, just one day, someone will surprise us with their authenticity?  Or is it just too hard to believe that people will sacrifice anything and anyone for a salacious story or a momentary break from their own misery.  You know what they say about misery.....Click HERE to read more.....




I can't get too deep into my personal story because like I stated before, I don't trust people and I don't know who's reading this.  Blogs should be open and honest, but like a dummy I've posted this to my personal FB and twitter and I just don't want to put myself and my story out there like that. But I do have to wonder...when a person is put in a situation where their back is up against the wall, and they're caught between people they trust on opposing sides, what's one to do?  People say time heals all wounds but I have been cut a lot of times and I will say that time may close all wounds but they are SO not healed.  Life experiences shape you and the type of person you will be and I just feel like the people I choose to have in my life are always the wrong ones.  Now I know that says a lot about me.  I accept that and I own it.  I just wonder, how many times can you reach a fork in the road and not want to take either road?

My solution: Cut everybody off.

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